Speak Now
by QueenKat1278
Summary: Just a oneshot I wrote for Jacob and my OC Alexis, where Jacob's imprint doesn't love him back.


My imprint didn't love me.

She didn't love me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I'd tried everything. Everything.

What more could I do? I'd told her everything. I'd told her the legends, I'd told her about the imprints, I'd told her I loved her more times that I could possibly count. But nothing seemed to matter to her. She refused me. She refused me every time.

I don't think I came on too strong. We were friends before it happened. And when it happened…I just knew that she would be the only one that I would love for the rest of eternity. Everything about her was perfect to me. From the way her eyes lit up at a joke, to the slightly crooked smile that crossed her face so often. Even when she came to school in only a sweater with her hair pulled up. She was always, always beautiful to me. I made sure that I told her every chance I had. She would smile, turn her head away to hide her blush and thank me.

It wasn't enough.

I'd tried so hard to win her over, but she never went for it. I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe I didn't send her enough flowers, or tell her how amazing she was. Maybe she didn't believe me. Was I believable? I thought I was. Was it sad that the only opinion that mattered to me was hers? I'm not sure she even cared what I thought.

I've known she was my imprint for nearly four years now. Four years. Even for Quil and Claire, now that Claire's a bit older, they're more attached. Always together. Paul and my sister are always together. Emily and Sam. I looked at them the most. They were the first imprint that I'd ever seen, and they were so happy together. Naturally I thought that all imprints would be happy together. Why not? That was the way imprints worked. You meet that one person that is your other half. The one who it's…_easy_ with. Who you can be yourself with. And you're with that person forever. Because they feel the same way. Right?

Not. Tricked ya.

She had been kind enough about turning me down, that much was true. But how kind can one be when rejecting someone? It's kind of hard. I could already tell what she was going to say by the apologetic smile and embarrassed way she looked away. She felt awkward. The minute I saw that, my heart sank. What would I do now? All I could do was keep trying. I'm nothing if not persistent. Her words are a continuous loop in my head.

_I'm sorry. I just can't do this. I don't feel the same way. Let's still be friends?_

Let's still be friends. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to hate her so bad. But how could I, with those warm brown eyes looking up to me hopefully. I told her we could. We could still be friends.

Do you know what it's like to be away from something you need? Say, water. Sure, you're alright at first, but after a while, it starts to eat at you. Your throat aches. Your mouth is dry. Maybe you even start puking. You need it, no matter what you tell yourself. I think you can see where I'm going with this.

I've tried for two years to win her affection. It hasn't worked thus far, and I don't see why that'll change anytime soon.

Paul says I mope. What do you think? I think that if I'm moping, I have every right to. Whenever I see her with him, it's hard to keep a sunshiny attitude.

Even now, staring at her in her beautiful white dress, I was angry. I wanted to punch someone so badly. She looked gorgeous.

She looked just as gorgeous the day we met, when she wore her torn jean shorts and a paint splattered tank top.

"_Hey!" she laughed, trying to run down the beach. I laughed and chased after her, easily catching up to her in seconds. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into me. "Not fair, you beast."_

"_It's completely fair." I argued back. I couldn't help myself. Only an hour after meeting this girl and she had me under her spell. _

_She turned in my arms to face me. A slow smile slid across her face. "Hey."_

"_Hey," I repeated softly. "I'm Jacob."_

"_I know. I'm Alexis."_

"_I know."_

_She had a gorgeous smile, and she used it often. She could light up a room with just one movement. I wished that I could be the guy to call her mine, but someone beat me to it. The same thought keeps running through my head. Where's my happy ending?_

_I followed after Alexis, trying to give her space, but at the same time, trying to be near to her. I wasn't sure what to say. I thought I'd said enough. But all she could say was, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. I'm freaking dreaming." I chose to speak again, and hopefully not seal my own coffin. _

"_Alexis, I don't understand why you're so upset."_

"_Because, Jake," she exploded, exclaiming with her hands moving to exaggerate her words. "I don't want it to be this way. I don't want to be told who to love, how to finish out my life. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? I don't think you'd like it either if one day you got all this thrown at you."_

_I blinked. I couldn't understand it. "But, Alex, you make me happy, and I can make you happy too. That's the whole point of imprinting."_

_She sighed, the energy leaving her. "No, Jake. The point is to take away my choice. And I'm not going to let that happen. I'm sorry, but no. The answer's no."_

_I watched her walk away, tears rolling down her cheeks. If it made her unhappy, why'd she say no?_

That question has haunted me ever since. I know I saw her cry. I saw the tears. They're pretty hard to miss, actually. The saying "If you love something, let it go" didn't really apply in this situation, so why would she say no? Unless I'm missing some huge thing here, you don't usually say no to things that would make you happy.

I figured in all sorts of factors. The sun was in her eyes. She was having a bad day. She was PMSing. A bird pooped on her. Anything.

But no, none of those were the reason why.

"_Why'd you say no?"_

"_Leave me alone Jacob Black, or I'll get a restraining order."_

"_Just tell me why."_

_She turned to me, eyes shining even now with more tears. What was with this girl and crying? "I'm not having my agency taken away. You're my friend Jake, but not more than that. I just don't think that we'd work out like…that. Like how you want it."_

"_I'll prove it to you," I said desperately. Before she could respond, I was kissing her. Her lips moved against mine, as if she forgot that we were even fighting. It felt so right. Just like breathing. And then she pulled away. _

"_No," she gasped, taking a step back. "No. Don't do this to me, Jake. Don't do this."_

_I watched her walk away again. But just like the last time, she was crying. _

_Okay, she wanted a choice. I decided that I'd woo her the normal way. I'd ask her out on a date, we'd go out a few times, I'd kiss her, she'd my girlfriend, happily ever after. She could choose if she wanted to date me, right? I'd just never give up. Maybe I was a little bit too overconfident…but what would you have done? In front of you is the one thing in the world that will complete you and make you happy, and it's walking away, pulling away, trying to get away. _

"_I'm dating someone else," she told me coolly. I couldn't believe this. She said it so randomly. I had just answered my door and she just blurted it out. "So now it's over, okay?"_

"_What?" I said stupidly. _

_She glared. "It's over, Jacob. This twisted imprint thing you've got your mind set on. It's over."_

"_But I love you," I said softly. I could have sworn I saw something break behind her eyes. But it only lasted a moment, and then she was back to her cool exterior. _

"_This is how it is."_

_I watched my beautiful girl walk down the aisle. Yes, she was my beautiful girl. No matter who the father was, or who was at the end of that aisle, that was MY girl in that white dress. Oh, how I wished I could be the one standing at the end of the aisle waiting for her, dressed uncomfortably in a tux, staring at the most amazing girl in the world. I wouldn't be able to wait until the wedding was over. I'd kiss her right there. _

"_I wanted to give this to you in person," she said, handing me the cream envelope with the glossy seal. She kept her eyes on me, nodding for me to open it. I did so slowly, knowing in my heart what it was, but not wanting to believe it. When the engagement picture fell out, and the invitation to the wedding as well, my heart broke a million times over. _

"_Why?" I whispered only for myself to hear. She heard me. _

"_I love him, Jake. And don't tell me I don't, because I know I do."_

"_He won't love you like I love you," I told her, fixing my eyes onto hers. All at once, she was crying. Again. She was like a human fire hydrant. I wasn't sure what to say. _

"_Don't tell me that, Jake. You're great to me. You're better to me than I ever deserved, but he's…he is going to take care of me, and it was my choice. Try to understand that."_

_I thought about it for a moment. "I understand it. But why don't you seem happy?"_

"_I'm happy," she said, wiping the tears away. "And if I'm not, I'm going to try my hardest to be."_

_The ceremony dragged on and on, every second making me wonder why I was here. I shouldn't be here. This was wrong. She'd made her choice, and I had to accept that. If this was what made her happy, then so be it, that was it. But I just couldn't bring myself to give up just yet. I had to try one last time. I heard the preacher say "Speak now." and I stand, eyes on her. _

This is it. This is the last chance. I loved her. I loved her. Please let her love me too.

_I love you._


End file.
